Your will above all else

I want to say thank you to family and friends who have been so prayerful and encouraging over the last few days. I cannot express enough how much your commitment to prayer means to me. God is indeed the Great Physician and I know in my heart he's healing me...no matter what.

I did see the first neuro-surgeon today for his opinion on where to go from here. He said that since my quality of life is pretty good and since the numbness & tingling I'm having is manageable and not severe, he recommends living with this AVM and not surgically removing it. The surgery is very high risk and very invasive and could do more harm than good. He thinks we should monitor it through an MRI every 6 months to make sure it's not growing or bleeding, and of course continue praying for healing.

As far as exercising, he thinks it would be okay to resume normal activity, but was not positive if pregnancy would cause this to grow or bleed. Because this is so rare, not a whole lot is known on prevention. So, he said it wouldn't hurt his feelings if I got a 2nd opinion from a doctor at UAB who specializes in AVM's...who I'm trying to get in to see.

In the meantime, please continue praying.

My thoughts:
I went for a long walk went I got home today and sang out one of my favorite songs on my ipod- From the Inside Out by Hillsong. You know sometimes things happen that are SO larger than us that we can't even comprehend or begin to understand why things happen or worse, why me? Instead of getting discouraged I think the most important thing I can do for myself and my family is completely surrender this to God. Nobody wants to have a lesion on their brain stem, nor live each day knowing it can change or worsen....resulting in surgery. However, I believe God is completely in control here and wants me as close to him as I can be right now - faithfully and humbly His. Consume me from the inside out Lord.

From the Inside Out
A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame

Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out